Growing Groups Strong

One of the greatest preventable mistakes made by group leaders is when they try to carry too much – the “I’ll just do it myself” syndrome. If we follow the examples of Jesus and the Apostle Paul, we will purposefully develop others as they serve alongside us (Luke 6:12–13; 2 Timothy 2:2).

Your health and balance as a leader – not to mention the overall health of the group – is dependent on others who will serve alongside you. Having someone to co-lead your group will enhance how you connect with the diversity of people circled up with you. Your co-leader will strengthen how people are cared for in your group and can provide feedback that you would not have otherwise received (Proverbs 27:17). The impact of your leadership will be increased exponentially with the support of one or more co-leaders.

We can find guidance on how to select co-leaders in Luke 6:12-13: “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles.” In this passage, Jesus gives us a four-step process for choosing a co-leader:

1. He prayed – Earnestly seek the Lord for clear direction and wait until you get it.
2. He called – Initiate a time to personally connect with who He places on your heart.
3. He chose – Tell prospective co-leaders what you see in them and why you’re choosing them to partner with you (cf. Mt 16:16-19).
4. He designated – Empower them to champion specific aspects of group life in keeping with how God has graced them. For practical ways on how you can go about this, see my post entitled: “Leveraging Spiritual Gifts.”

In the process of selecting your co-leader, let them know how you’ll work with them, what it looks like and what they can expect. Start with the end in mind and share a vision for how their leadership will help grow biblical community. Ultimately, experienced co-leaders multiply options for handling numerical growth so new groups can branch out and more people can connect to Christ and the community of His Church.

Groups that have more members taking on more responsibilities are better at making disciples who grow deep and impact wide. Now let’s turn our attention to some tips and tactics for developing your co-leader:

• Give your co-leader smaller tasks at first and look for opportunities to celebrate their accomplishments. After a period of time, let the group know how this person is helping the group in this role of service (Matthew 23:11-12; Mark 10:42-45). In other words, don’t announce that somebody is your co-leader before they’ve started as if it’s a position, but rather affirm the difference their support is already making for the group.
• In the beginning, be sure to shower your co-leader with encouragement. As the relationship grows, you can address areas where they need further development. Be sure to end your coaching times on a positive note, and pray together.
• As co-leaders progress, increase their level of responsibility by preparing for meetings and taking the lead with special events and outreaches. Don’t just delegate tasks to them, but empower them to succeed with greater assignments by applying the following developmental model:
  • I do, you watch
  • I do, you help
  • You do, I help
  • You do, I watch
• Find ways to share your life with your co-leader outside of regular meeting times. Meet them on their home turf. Discover what’s in their heart and what outcomes they want to achieve in the next season of your group.
• Know their birthday, anniversary, and what makes them smile, e.g. a specialty coffee, dessert, handwritten note, etc. Then deliver on it!
• Pray for them by name each day. Keep notes on needs and answers to prayer that you can revisit with them.
• Take time with your co-leader to informally debrief group meetings while the experience is still fresh. Ask them to share their observations: What did they feel good about? What observations or questions do they have?
• Make your relationship a priority by listening to their questions, empathizing with their anxiety, and sharing helpful resources that will build their leadership competency.
• Share the frequency with which you’d like to communicate, but do it using methods they prefer, e.g. text, phone, FaceTime/Zoom, email, social media, etc. (See my post entitled “Leadership Investment Rhythms” for more on how you can organize for this.)
• Make an encouraging deposit into their leadership at least once a month with Scripture, quotes, an excerpt or executive summary of a book, video or podcast.
• Loop them into the larger network of leaders you know so they glean from their wisdom and grow in confidence.
• Don’t limit yourself to just one co-leader: Invite group members to take on more responsibility when you sense they are ready for it! People can serve in a variety of ways that will create full-bodied group life and develop their leadership through outreach, communications, coordinating meals or childcare, social outings, etc.

It is never too early to appoint co-leaders! The Apostle Paul knew this. He usually had dozens of people around him who were friends and “fellow-workers” (Philemon 1:24). Several from his missionary band led house churches that were instrumental with the initial spread of the Gospel! Then and now, the multiplication of healthy leaders and groups depend on the kind of missional partnership that is forged with co-leaders (Philippians 1:3-6).

Intentional investments made over time into developing group leaders will empower them to create healthy environments where biblical community will grow. This requires meaningful touch-points in different ways with enough frequency that leaders feel known, loved, included, and challenged so they continue learning and growing.

Different leaders need different kinds of care. This care will look different for each leader depending on whether they are new or experienced in leading groups. There are repeatable investment rhythms you can easily put into motion that will build the relationships necessary for healthy leadership development. A group leader will fall somewhere on the spectrum of new to experienced, and for simplicity, we will only look at these two general categories:

• New leaders typically want time to interface with you in person and be connected with other leaders. They are helped by a higher frequency of touch-points that are more personalized. You want to love on these leaders and provide ample attention and direction, especially within the first few months as they get started.
• Experienced leaders typically prefer a lower frequency of touch-points that don’t require as much in-person meetings. They need to know you’re there and care, but they don’t need the same level of engagement as new leaders. Keep these people in the loop and show your appreciation for them.

* Weekly frequency during their initial training & up through their first study

The concept of “span of care” applies as the scale of your group leadership grows. For example, let’s say you have eight group leaders. You’ve built relationships with them over time and have been able to provide the necessary care, but you want to do more. About this time, four new leaders emerge out of these groups who are eager to launch their own groups.

You quickly realize that you can’t maintain the same level of care with your first wave of leaders and also pour into the next wave. So you select one of your most capable and available leaders to function like a “coach” and invest into half of your experienced leaders (4) and half of the new leaders (2). Instead of your span of care becoming unmanageable at twelve, you equally divide the care of the whole group leadership between you and your new coach resulting in a 1:6 span of care.

Keep in mind that span of care is an elastic concept in practice. For example, coaches with greater margin and leadership competency can care for a greater number of leaders. The biggest factor can also be the greatest unknown, which is what level of care leaders will ultimately need because even experienced leaders face personal crises and challenges in their group life that will require greater investment.

Occasionally, you and your coaches should plan to substitute an in-person touch-point with a half-day retreat or conference that will develop your leadership community. Top-notch content is on-demand that you can use anytime, anywhere. Adding some variety into how you invest in your leaders will help guard against your investment rhythms turning into ruts.

The table above is meant to serve as a rule of thumb to help you determine what healthy investment rhythms should look like in your church considering the maturity and needs of your group leadership. It’s also important to remember that YOU need investment too! Point leaders like yourself are all around you and you can glean so many useful ideas and resources by joining a huddle through www.smallgroupnetwork.com.

A church’s purposes or values usually reflect the practices they want to encourage in the lives of their members. If your recommended group format is structured around your church’s purposes, you will be more effective at weaving these essential spiritual practices into your group life. This is critical since the relational circles of groups create the community that transforms lives and enables your church to be transformational in its own community. This post examines four more spiritual practices that necessitate spiritual relationships and help believers to be faithful and fruitful in their walk with Jesus.

• Communion – This practice, along with baptism, is a primary sacrament of the Church and involves community. Though communion may be done in private, the biblical example shows this to be a communal event that involves the sharing of food (Acts 2:46b; 1 Cor 11:23-34). It is an expression of worship and an act of remembrance any believer is authorized and able to do. Receiving communion together honors Christ, communicates the Good News, and proclaims the unity of the Church (1 Cor 10:16-17).

Growth Tip: Bring bread and beverage to your group, open by reading from 1 Cor 11:23-26, distribute the elements, give thanks for Christ’s sacrifice explaining what the elements represent, provide a time of quiet reflection, and close with a brief prayer of thanksgiving. Practicing communion in your group conveys how all believers are ministers and confers a fresh sense of authority in how your members minister to one another. It strengthens your group’s bond and deepens the way your group worships together.

• Confession – Confession points to how we need one another for full healing. It holds such importance that we are advised to make it a common practice (James 5:16). Healing results from confession because the dark areas of a person’s life where sin likes to remain concealed is exposed to the light of Jesus Christ (1 John 1:5-7). Confession breaks sin’s power, enabling people to respond to God’s transforming grace and extend what they have received in Christ to others (Rom 8:5-11; Gal 5:16-26).

Growth Tip: The group leader sets the pace for vulnerability in the group. Vulnerability is a necessary ingredient for confession to become a spiritual practice that is exercised in your group. The more real a group leader can be, the more free people are to be themselves and receive the healing God wants to bring. When confession is modeled by the group leader it empowers others to do the same. There may be times that are more conducive to breaking up into smaller prayer groups or same-sex breakouts, which can encourage more openness. Pray for discernment in how to introduce this spiritual practice in your group.

• Ministry – Ministry is the super-natural outworking of our Christian life and involves giving our time, testimony, talents, and treasure in Jesus’ Name. It involves the exchange of God’s life-giving grace and takes on many expressions: Loving my neighbor, carrying the burdens of a fellow believer, exercising my spiritual gifts, and sharing the resources that God has blessed me with so that I can be a blessing to others and advance God’s purposes in the world. Ministry is relational by nature and has the effect of building community.

Growth Tip: Aim to create an interactive environment in your group. When somebody shares how God is doing something transformational in their life, pause the discussion and affirm what He is doing. If somebody is sharing a struggle, lay hands on the person and pray. Invite others to do the same. Allow prayer and Bible study to ignite ministry moments. Then model care and demonstrate how ministry is a priority over your group’s meeting agenda. To paint a picture of what in-group ministry can look like go to www.biblegateway.com and do a quick search of the phrase “love one another.”

• Outreach – If we are to encounter God, we must meet our neighbor in need (Mt 25:40, 2 Cor 5:19). We cannot ignore one command and follow the other. We cannot walk with Him and leave our neighbors behind. Evangelism is how we ‘love much’, which we are constrained to do since in Christ we have been ‘given much’ (Luke 7:47, 12:48). God commands us to reach out and invite others to follow Him (Luke 14:23), which is an act of obedience that is inherently relational. It is our purpose as the people of God, His Church (2 Cor 5:13-21; Eph 3:10, Mt 28:19-20). Relationships fuel disciple-making, which enlarges the family of God – so from beginning to end – evangelism involves community. There are things we just would not do without the encouragement of other believers around us. Our evangelistic potential is multiplied with the addition of just one other Christ-follower by our side. This is why Jesus sent out His apostles and other disciples two-by-two (Mark 6:7-8; Luke 10:1-2). We are stronger together.

Growth Tip: Three simple steps group leaders can take to develop outreach in their church’s community life are: 1) Set the expectation 2) Pray for the lost 3) Appoint members to ministry roles. It refreshes the group to discuss its purpose at the outset of each new season. Before entering a new study, share with the group that one of the reasons why your group exists is to share the Good News with others. Then in times of group prayer, be sure to pray for those beyond the group and for your church’s outreach efforts. This fosters an external focus to your group and plants seeds for future outreach. Gradually appoint people to fulfill ministry roles in the group that are in keeping with their passion and gift-mix. Invite them to try out roles for a limited duration at first and start them off with small tasks before graduating them to larger group projects.

Community is the wellspring of the spiritual practices that enable us to be faithful followers and disciple-makers. Each believer’s life with God and effectiveness as a part of the Body of Christ hinges on their relationships with other people. If we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength – we must be walking in the most excellent way of loving our neighbors (Mark 12:29-31; 1 Cor 12:31b). If we are to obey the dozens of ‘one another’ commands in the NT, grow in Christ, and show lost people the way home – we need relationships (John 14:21, 13:34-35; 1 John 4:7-12, 20-21). There is no more effective way to ensure the outworking of spiritual practices in our lives than being in community with a circle of believers enjoying full-bodied group life together.

It might sound strange to describe group life as being full-bodied. For example, I like my coffee “full-bodied,” but what does it mean when applied to community? The big idea here is that within the soil of community our roots grow deeper in Christ than they ever would in our own individual experiences (Col 2:6-7). The composition of this soil is enriched when group members engage in a breadth of spiritual practices that allow them to live out their faith with one another. As a result, a group will fully taste and see biblical community in the way we see it expressed in Acts 2: Rich, robust, strong, well-matured, and even flavorful!

God used the depth and diversity of the Early Church’s life together to put skin on His love for the world (1 John 4:12). Its full-bodied community made the disciples’ spiritual life ever-deepening and their Kingdom impact ever-expanding (Acts 2:46-47). This two-part post will explore several key spiritual practices that can be exercised in community, result in life-transformation, and keep your groups and church on mission. Emphasis will be placed on why community is integral to the nature and outworking of spiritual practices. Also, “growth tips” will be offered on how to strengthen the development of each one in your group life.

• Fellowship – A “church” is a gathering of ‘called out ones’, as the Greek word (ekklesia) suggests, so it is both physical and spiritual in nature. It is why the reference to gathering in Jesus’ Name in Matthew 18:20 is viewed by many as the starting point for understanding the Church. Groups help believers gather in Jesus’ Name and when they are gathered in His Name, He is present in their midst. When He is in our midst there is power to exercise all the other spiritual practices so that we can respond to God’s work in our lives, our group, and church. Fellowship encourages the growth of all the other spiritual practices listed, which is why we are exhorted to not stop meeting together (Heb 10:25). We find encouragement to persevere and live in a way that is pleasing to God when we have the support of other believers around us.

Growth Tip: Allow fellowship to serve as bookends to your meeting format. Pre-planned fellowship on the front-end helps the group time feel less agenda-driven and more relational because it takes the edge off the start time and allows people to catch up. Fellowship on the tail-end provides a time cushion and allows people to connect more and process through their insights and experiences in the group.

• Prayer – Prayer is communion with God. Like most of the spiritual practices, this is can be done in private or public. The best historical account of the Early Church gives numerous examples of believers praying together (Acts 1:14, 24; 2:42; 3:1; 4:24, 31; 6:6; 8:15; 12:5, 12; 13:3; 14:23; 16:25; 20:36; 21:5). Many of the psalms were private prayers in origin, which were recorded in order to be used in corporate worship. When we witness a believer’s communion with God, it can enrich our own. Furthermore, we need the prayers of others for our own spiritual well-being. In his book, Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “A Christian fellowship lives and exists by the intercession of its members for one another, or it collapses.” Oftentimes, prayer provides glimpses of people’s heart condition in ways discussion does not always allow. Some of the most candid moments in community come during times of prayer together. Ministry is oftentimes embedded in this spiritual practice and group prayer helps to unearth it. Prayer prepares the way for holy moments where our fellowship deepens and we minister to one another.

Growth Tip: A couple of ways you can strengthen this spiritual practice with your group members is to introduce prayer during different parts of your meeting. For example, do not always have it follow your Bible study. Include brief prayers in your discussion time and express prayer in different ways (thanks, adoration, petition, and ministry). The more your group gets to know one another, the more freely you can ask different people to lead out in prayer.

• Worship – Most references to worship in the Bible involve a ‘community’ of believers. It is the expression of our love, reverence, praise, and thanks to God for who He is and all He has done by His amazing grace. As with the other spiritual practices, our own worship can be enhanced in the company of others as we witness the outpouring of their hearts to Him. Worship enriches my relationship with God, it encourages my spirit, and it can communicate God’s life-changing grace to a world that has yet to meet the Creator of heaven and earth (Acts 2:46-47).

Growth Tip: Before you introduce worship to your group, learn which expressions are the most meaningful for each of your group members. This will increase the likelihood of successfully weaving this spiritual practice into your group life and expanding each member’s understanding of worship. Begin by asking them to share their definition of worship and what the most meaningful forms of worship are for each of them personally. For some it will be singing while for others it might be quiet thanksgiving, writing, or some other unique expression. Validate each and share a biblical reference on how it reflects the creativity of the Spirit.

• Bible Study – Most of the New Testament was written in the midst of two or more and was created to be read aloud and lived out together in the new churches being planted throughout the Roman Empire. The Bible study of the first century was communal in nature and provided a system of education and mutual encouragement for the emerging communities of believers. An example of this bible study discussion can be found in Acts 20:7a, which says, “On the first day of the week, when we met to break bread, Paul was holding a discussion [dielegeto] with them…” (NRSV). Two of Jesus’ most prominent and extensive teaching monologues – The Sermon on the Mount and The Last Supper – were delivered to a community of disciples and within a community of disciples (Mt 5-7, Jn 13-17). Our learning of God’s Word is enhanced by the insights of others; their perspective added to our own brings things into sharper focus.

Growth Tip: Find a way to recognize each person’s input because this has a way of rolling out the mat for others to participate. Acknowledgement encourages involvement. The more free people feel to share, the more energy there will be to your discussions. Also, rotating leadership is empowering for the whole group and draws out the spiritual gifts of each participant.

Discipleship (learning and following Jesus Christ) is a plural activity. The disciples were always together in the Gospel accounts. In fact, in every instance a reference is made to the presence of a disciple…that person is with other disciples. There are 266 references of ‘disciples’ and 28 occurrences of ‘disciple’. Almost every reference of the word being in the singular notes how another disciple was with him or it is Jesus making a point in an illustration He is sharing. However, there is only one case when there is talk of a disciple being alone and that is when Peter was denying Christ. What do you think this says about the importance of community for believers?

In the next post, we will examine four more spiritual practices that will help enrich the soil of your group life so that more people will follow Jesus whole-heartedly and impact others with His love and message.

These self-evaluating questions were developed with the intention of giving group leaders a compass to make sure they were staying on track with helping a group to connect, learn, and serve together so it could impact the world with the love of Christ: